Dear friends,
I haven't written in over a week because life has been too hard lately. And it's taken it's toll on my health. I am sick today. And not mentally or emotionally sick. I am genuinely ill. Last night, I could feel a sore throat coming on, and I woke-up every hour during the night because I was in such pain. It's just a cold, but it's a nasty cold. It came on hard and fast. My body has been weakened these last couple of weeks, and somehow, a cold just jumped out and bit me. And poor Eric. Today is his first day at this new job, and I was in and out of bed all night long. But once he's asleep, the boy is unconscious, so I'm hoping I didn't disturb him too much.
Things that have been hectic these past couple of weeks:
1. THE MOVE.
Eric has finally (and officially!) moved out of Virginia and into our lovely home in Columbia Heights. He's a DC resident now. I am so happy. But this has all been so hard. Eric has a LOT of stuff. SO MUCH!!!! We don't know where to fit it all! We started packing up his apartment last Saturday. Then the moving company arrived at 8:00 AM last Sunday morning. They didn't realize that there was SO MUCH to pack. It was a long, hard, painful day. They packed up all of the furniture, and they packed as many possessions as they could, until they literally ran out of moving boxes. Then they drove here to DC, unloaded both of the trucks, and they were gone by 5:00 PM.
But that was just the beginning. Eric had more possessions back at the apartment. So last week (which was also his last week at this old job), every night, after work, he would drive from work in Central Maryland, to his apartment in Virginia, pick up another car full of things, and drive back to DC, and unload his car. Repeat the next day.
Then this past weekend, Eric spent Saturday and Sunday driving back and forth to Virginia, picking up the last few things. Did I mention that it rained it all weekend? My job yesterday was to follow Eric around with an umbrella as he walked into the apartment, picked up a load of things, and carried them to the car, walked back to the apartment, repeat. And I followed with the umbrella. I was hard, cold, and wet. Hard work.
But he picked-up the last of his possessions yesterday. He now has all of his possessions here. And the place is a wreck. As my grandfather used to say, "It looks like the bomb went off in here."
But we'll get there. One day at a time, one possession at a time, everything will get unpacked, and everything will find its home, and we will finally be home. It's just going to take a while.
2. THE FILM SHOOT.
The other project in my life that has occupied my time lately is the "Church Night TV" intro that I've been filming with Linsay and Ted and others. Linsay and Landon host a comedy/variety show once a month at the Wonderland Ballroom in Columbia Heights called "Church Night" (visit their website here: www.churchnight.org). They're now planning to make a web series. So for the past two weekends, I've been part of the crew, helping to film the introduction of "Church Night TV."
It's been a lot of fun, but a lot of hard work (there are lights to move, sets to dress, and generally a lot of lifting and carrying). It's fun because we're filming some wacky scenes (and I love working with these guys), but it's been hard because my weekends have been spent moving Eric into the house, then I go straight from that to the film set.
And on top of it all, the weather was shitty this weekend. It was raining, snowing, and sleeting yesterday. And I was outside for a lot of the day, moving Eric's things, then walking to and from the film shoot at Wonderland. And somehow, a virus entered my body, and my body just didn't have the strength to fight it. I felt the sore throat on my walk home (in the rain) from the shoot at Wonderland last night. Then it just blew up over night.
So here I am. Sick at home. I slept most of the day. I've been drinking gallons of water (because I'm constantly parched). I ate waffles for breakfast/lunch (because they're easy and I'm weak). I took a long, hot bath. And I've been watching the movie "Julie & Julia" for the past hour (so inspiring!).
Oh, other important thing I did today - I signed up for Obamacare! I will have basic health insurance with Kaiser Permanente and basic dental insurance with Delta Dental. For this up-coming, next chapter in my life, I'm going to need non-employer-based healthcare, as I plan to have a much more freelance career in my future.
So maybe it was a blessing that Eric moved and the film shoot happened at the same time, all of it in shitty weather, so that I was destined to get sick, stay home, and get the health insurance I will need when I quit my job.
Today is the last day of March. April will be a very different month. April is the month that everything changes. Here's to April, and the next chapter of my life.
Night-night,
Leila
P.S. Did you know that you can watch all 10 episodes of "The Sherman House Webisodes" (plus extras!) for free at www.shwebisodes.com? Because you can :-)
Monday, March 31, 2014
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Choose Courage
Hello, friends.
There has been a shift. Ever since I made the decision to quit my job, my office has actually become worse. Or maybe it's the exact same as it's been every day for the past 15 months. Maybe I tolerated it more for the past 15 months because there was no end in sight. I was trying to teach myself to surrender and suck it up and be an adult.
But now that I know that I'm leaving, it's almost unbearable. I have even more stress during the day. I get headaches and heartburn daily. I literally feel the stress in my legs (that's code red for me, by the way...when I can feel it in my legs, I know I'm about to pop).
The problem is, I don't know how to quit. No, that's not true. The truth is, I'm afraid of quitting.
I'm afraid that my tense workplace will only become more tense when I reveal that I'm leaving. I'm afraid that my overworked and angry colleagues will only become more angry and overworked without me. I'm afraid of the guilt. I'm afraid of hurting people's feelings (even though no one in the office has ever been afraid of hurting my feelings). I am so afraid. I'm overwhelmed with fear. The only reason I'm still in this job is because I'm paralyzed with fear.
So I must choose courage.
"You can choose courage, or you can choose comfort. But you cannot have both." - Brené Brown
I was surfing Oprah.com this evening. I just needed a hit of inspiration. When I'm scared and sad, I often turn to Oprah for help. And I came across this video featuring Brené Brown (you will need Flash to watch this, so watch it on your laptop, because you can't see it on your phone).
This was exactly what I needed to hear tonight. I love this so much! She is so right! I can choose courage, or I can choose comfort, but I cannot have both. It WILL take courage to quit my job. It will be awkward and awful during those last two weeks. I may get scolded or just subtly mentally abused. Who knows?
And after two weeks, it will ALL BE OVER. I will NEVER have to go back to that office EVER AGAIN. Then I can start my magical month of peace, meditation, writing, and health. It will be such an exquisite month.
But it's going to take courage to get there. I just have to pick a date (a Friday, definitely a Friday) and email my letter of resignation to my (many) bosses. I will give them two weeks' notice. I will tell them I've been offered another job, and that the new employer made me an offer I couldn't refuse. I won't tell them I'm leaving because I can't stand to be around angry bullies for another second. No, I don't need to make those two weeks any harder than they need to be. I will keep the letter short and sweet.
Then, after I am gone, I will write a letter to my boss (let's call him Boss #1) and tell him about the bullying and other general nastiness that goes on in his office. He's a nice guy, and I want him to have a great administrative assistant. But he will keep losing assistants unless there is a major change in that office. And I want him to know this.
Yeah, I can't wait around for a comfortable moment to quit. There will never be a comfortable moment. So I will choose courage instead.
I shall end with another picture of me in my beloved London. This is me being courageous and taking the newly-opened Emirates Air Line over the Thames River, in June 2012. I was brave once before, I can be brave again.
There has been a shift. Ever since I made the decision to quit my job, my office has actually become worse. Or maybe it's the exact same as it's been every day for the past 15 months. Maybe I tolerated it more for the past 15 months because there was no end in sight. I was trying to teach myself to surrender and suck it up and be an adult.
But now that I know that I'm leaving, it's almost unbearable. I have even more stress during the day. I get headaches and heartburn daily. I literally feel the stress in my legs (that's code red for me, by the way...when I can feel it in my legs, I know I'm about to pop).
The problem is, I don't know how to quit. No, that's not true. The truth is, I'm afraid of quitting.
I'm afraid that my tense workplace will only become more tense when I reveal that I'm leaving. I'm afraid that my overworked and angry colleagues will only become more angry and overworked without me. I'm afraid of the guilt. I'm afraid of hurting people's feelings (even though no one in the office has ever been afraid of hurting my feelings). I am so afraid. I'm overwhelmed with fear. The only reason I'm still in this job is because I'm paralyzed with fear.
So I must choose courage.
"You can choose courage, or you can choose comfort. But you cannot have both." - Brené Brown
I was surfing Oprah.com this evening. I just needed a hit of inspiration. When I'm scared and sad, I often turn to Oprah for help. And I came across this video featuring Brené Brown (you will need Flash to watch this, so watch it on your laptop, because you can't see it on your phone).
This was exactly what I needed to hear tonight. I love this so much! She is so right! I can choose courage, or I can choose comfort, but I cannot have both. It WILL take courage to quit my job. It will be awkward and awful during those last two weeks. I may get scolded or just subtly mentally abused. Who knows?
And after two weeks, it will ALL BE OVER. I will NEVER have to go back to that office EVER AGAIN. Then I can start my magical month of peace, meditation, writing, and health. It will be such an exquisite month.
But it's going to take courage to get there. I just have to pick a date (a Friday, definitely a Friday) and email my letter of resignation to my (many) bosses. I will give them two weeks' notice. I will tell them I've been offered another job, and that the new employer made me an offer I couldn't refuse. I won't tell them I'm leaving because I can't stand to be around angry bullies for another second. No, I don't need to make those two weeks any harder than they need to be. I will keep the letter short and sweet.
Then, after I am gone, I will write a letter to my boss (let's call him Boss #1) and tell him about the bullying and other general nastiness that goes on in his office. He's a nice guy, and I want him to have a great administrative assistant. But he will keep losing assistants unless there is a major change in that office. And I want him to know this.
Yeah, I can't wait around for a comfortable moment to quit. There will never be a comfortable moment. So I will choose courage instead.
I shall end with another picture of me in my beloved London. This is me being courageous and taking the newly-opened Emirates Air Line over the Thames River, in June 2012. I was brave once before, I can be brave again.
Night-night, dear friends.
Leila
P.S. Be sure to watch all 10 episodes of "The Sherman House Webisodes" online (for free!) at www.shwebisodes.com!
Thursday, March 13, 2014
Leila Bueller's Day Off (or Adventures in Taco Bell)
Dear friends,
I had a fabulous day... because I called in sick today (hahahahaha!). Last Monday was a Snow Day and today was a Sick Day. It appears that my office is so toxic that I can't be there for more than four days a week. I wonder if they can tell that I'm miserable and have decided to quit. Probably not, though. I don't think that my misery sticks out from everyone else's misery. The girl who shares my cubicle quit last Friday. Tomorrow is her last day. I'm so jealous of her. I don't know how much longer I can last.
Anyway, back to my fabulous day off. Eric left he house at 5:30 this morning, so I got up to say goodbye to him. Then I got back into bed, emailed my bosses (yes, I have like five of them) to tell them I was taking a sick day, then went back to sleep. I woke up at around 9:30 AM and scanned the new movies on Hulu. I ended up watching the entire 2002 John Cusack movie "Max," about the young Adolf Hitler who was close to choosing art over politics, except that he wasn't a very good artist (trailer below):
Not the perkiest movie to start off one's spectacular day off, but I had been curious about this movie since it came out, so I'm glad I saw (I don't know if the actor who plays Young Hitler won any awards, but he was brilliantly and creepily psychotic).
As I watched this movie on Hulu, there were several Taco Bell commercials. I admit, I got a hankering for some Taco Bell. But I haven't lived near a Taco Bell in years! There were no Taco Bells in London, and there are none in DC (the one on 14th and U St. NW closed while I was living in London). So I looked on Google Maps and found that my nearest Taco Bell is in Silver Spring, Maryland. And that, I decided, would be my adventure for the day.
After I showered and got dressed, I took the S2 bus all the way up 16th St. NW, around Walter Reed, and it dropped me off on the corner of Eastern Ave. and Georgia Ave NW. The Taco Bell was only one block away from the bus stop.
It was not the prettiest Taco Bell. It was actually one of those Taco Bell / KFC combination restaurants. The dining room was sparse and gross at the same time. This Taco Bell wasn't in the nicest neighborhood. But I had come this far, so I was determined to get my tacos. I ordered two items that I have ordered at every Taco Bell I've ever eaten at: a Bean Burrito with no onions, and a Double Decker Taco (anyone who went to Nikki Rowe High School in '95-'96 will remember the year that the cafeteria sold Taco Bell Bean Burritos).
But then I got something new. Something naughty. Something that I knew would shorten my lifespan by a day (at least), but I had to try it. I had to know what all the hype was about. I ordered (drum roll, please) the Doritos Loco Taco. And this is what it looked like:
And you know what? It was great! I mean, it tasted 95% like a normal Taco Bell Crunchy Taco. But the shell did leave cheese powder on your fingers, and isn't that what you want from your Doritos products?
All in all, it was a lovely lunch in a part of town I had never been to before. I took the survey on the back of my receipt for the chance to win $1,000.00, and you know, I think I'm gonna win it ;-) I would have stayed longer, but this restaurant did make me fear (slightly) for my life. Every time someone new walked through the door I thought, "This is the person who's going to take me and everyone else hostage." But I was not assaulted, robbed, or held hostage, so things went much better than I had anticipated.
I haven't mentioned today's weather, have I? It was cold! It was so, so cold, and so, so windy. The temperature was around 25 F, but with the wind chill, it felt about 15 F. And silly, silly Leila decided to go for a walk in this strange neighborhood after lunch. I looked on the map and saw that the Silver Spring Metro Station was just a few blocks away. I thought it would be quicker to take the Metro, plus, it would be fun to walk around Silver Spring. I thought. It was bloody freezing! I kept thinking, "Why am I walking in this, why am I walking in this?!?!"
But deep-down, I loved it. I loved it because I realized that I would rather be walking through the decayed, industrial streets of Silver Spring, rather than be inside my office. I was smiling when I realized that I was happier feeling the stinging cold on my face, rather than be in that office, surrounded by stress, anger, and sadness. Ha! I felt free. Frozen, but free.
Twenty minutes later, and I finally found the Silver Spring Metro Station. I actually enjoyed the ride from Silver Spring to Fort Totten. I like the parts of the Metro that are above ground. Above-ground trains are so much more fun than below-ground trains. It reminds me of being in England. I guess trains will always remind me of England. It was a fun train ride.
And that was my adventure for the day. I came home, checked my email, cleaned my room, and made some dinner. Waffles. I made two frozen waffles with syrup for dinner. Nice. Because, you know, I'm trying to cut out the sugar completely from my diet. So, you know, waffles. Ugh. Good grief.
Back to work tomorrow. But tomorrow is Friday. Plus, tomorrow is Pay Day. I wonder how many more Pay Days I can tolerate before I tell them that I'm quitting. Ugh, my stomach hurts just thinking about it. But maybe that's just the Doritos Loco Taco. I do this to myself, don't I?
Night-night,
Leila
P.S. All your favorite episodes of "The Sherman House Webisodes" are free to stream at www.shwebisodes.com!
I had a fabulous day... because I called in sick today (hahahahaha!). Last Monday was a Snow Day and today was a Sick Day. It appears that my office is so toxic that I can't be there for more than four days a week. I wonder if they can tell that I'm miserable and have decided to quit. Probably not, though. I don't think that my misery sticks out from everyone else's misery. The girl who shares my cubicle quit last Friday. Tomorrow is her last day. I'm so jealous of her. I don't know how much longer I can last.
Anyway, back to my fabulous day off. Eric left he house at 5:30 this morning, so I got up to say goodbye to him. Then I got back into bed, emailed my bosses (yes, I have like five of them) to tell them I was taking a sick day, then went back to sleep. I woke up at around 9:30 AM and scanned the new movies on Hulu. I ended up watching the entire 2002 John Cusack movie "Max," about the young Adolf Hitler who was close to choosing art over politics, except that he wasn't a very good artist (trailer below):
Not the perkiest movie to start off one's spectacular day off, but I had been curious about this movie since it came out, so I'm glad I saw (I don't know if the actor who plays Young Hitler won any awards, but he was brilliantly and creepily psychotic).
As I watched this movie on Hulu, there were several Taco Bell commercials. I admit, I got a hankering for some Taco Bell. But I haven't lived near a Taco Bell in years! There were no Taco Bells in London, and there are none in DC (the one on 14th and U St. NW closed while I was living in London). So I looked on Google Maps and found that my nearest Taco Bell is in Silver Spring, Maryland. And that, I decided, would be my adventure for the day.
After I showered and got dressed, I took the S2 bus all the way up 16th St. NW, around Walter Reed, and it dropped me off on the corner of Eastern Ave. and Georgia Ave NW. The Taco Bell was only one block away from the bus stop.
It was not the prettiest Taco Bell. It was actually one of those Taco Bell / KFC combination restaurants. The dining room was sparse and gross at the same time. This Taco Bell wasn't in the nicest neighborhood. But I had come this far, so I was determined to get my tacos. I ordered two items that I have ordered at every Taco Bell I've ever eaten at: a Bean Burrito with no onions, and a Double Decker Taco (anyone who went to Nikki Rowe High School in '95-'96 will remember the year that the cafeteria sold Taco Bell Bean Burritos).
But then I got something new. Something naughty. Something that I knew would shorten my lifespan by a day (at least), but I had to try it. I had to know what all the hype was about. I ordered (drum roll, please) the Doritos Loco Taco. And this is what it looked like:
And you know what? It was great! I mean, it tasted 95% like a normal Taco Bell Crunchy Taco. But the shell did leave cheese powder on your fingers, and isn't that what you want from your Doritos products?
All in all, it was a lovely lunch in a part of town I had never been to before. I took the survey on the back of my receipt for the chance to win $1,000.00, and you know, I think I'm gonna win it ;-) I would have stayed longer, but this restaurant did make me fear (slightly) for my life. Every time someone new walked through the door I thought, "This is the person who's going to take me and everyone else hostage." But I was not assaulted, robbed, or held hostage, so things went much better than I had anticipated.
I haven't mentioned today's weather, have I? It was cold! It was so, so cold, and so, so windy. The temperature was around 25 F, but with the wind chill, it felt about 15 F. And silly, silly Leila decided to go for a walk in this strange neighborhood after lunch. I looked on the map and saw that the Silver Spring Metro Station was just a few blocks away. I thought it would be quicker to take the Metro, plus, it would be fun to walk around Silver Spring. I thought. It was bloody freezing! I kept thinking, "Why am I walking in this, why am I walking in this?!?!"
But deep-down, I loved it. I loved it because I realized that I would rather be walking through the decayed, industrial streets of Silver Spring, rather than be inside my office. I was smiling when I realized that I was happier feeling the stinging cold on my face, rather than be in that office, surrounded by stress, anger, and sadness. Ha! I felt free. Frozen, but free.
Twenty minutes later, and I finally found the Silver Spring Metro Station. I actually enjoyed the ride from Silver Spring to Fort Totten. I like the parts of the Metro that are above ground. Above-ground trains are so much more fun than below-ground trains. It reminds me of being in England. I guess trains will always remind me of England. It was a fun train ride.
And that was my adventure for the day. I came home, checked my email, cleaned my room, and made some dinner. Waffles. I made two frozen waffles with syrup for dinner. Nice. Because, you know, I'm trying to cut out the sugar completely from my diet. So, you know, waffles. Ugh. Good grief.
Back to work tomorrow. But tomorrow is Friday. Plus, tomorrow is Pay Day. I wonder how many more Pay Days I can tolerate before I tell them that I'm quitting. Ugh, my stomach hurts just thinking about it. But maybe that's just the Doritos Loco Taco. I do this to myself, don't I?
Night-night,
Leila
P.S. All your favorite episodes of "The Sherman House Webisodes" are free to stream at www.shwebisodes.com!
Monday, March 10, 2014
The Dream Job
Dear friends,
Sorry I haven't written in the past week. But let me assure you, a LOT has happened. Most importantly, I have decided to quite my job. Hallelu-yer!
Yes! I have finally seen the light. It turns out that I'm not meant to be in that miserable office for the rest of my life. Or even another year. Uh-uh. I am on my way out. I am no martyr. Life is too short.
I've decided that I'm going to save up and buy one whole month of my life. I'm going to quit, either in April, May, or June (whenever I can muster the courage), and I am going to spend a whole month living my dream life. And with that month, I'm going to feel what it feels like to be a full-time writer. I am going to wake up (and not at the ungodly hour of 5:00 AM any more) and maybe make a healthy breakfast for Eric and myself. Then my boy will go to work, and I'll do my morning meditation, followed by a shower. I will get dressed, then take my laptop to a coffee shop. Or perhaps, find an inspiring nook to write in at home. I will write for a few hours. Then I will go to yoga, or go on a peaceful walk. I will get exercise. I will have an afternoon meditation. Then write some more. Then I will prepare a healthy and satisfying evening meal for myself and Eric. Then my boy will get home, we will eat dinner, we will watch a story in bed, and we will fall asleep at a reasonable hour.
That is the month I am buying myself. I am buying myself a month at a quiet and meditative retreat. I will eat healthfully again. I will move my body again. I will remove all stressors from my body, mind, and soul. And I will bring back the old Leila from the dead. Because this past year, in this macabre office, I have died a thousand deaths. My health has deteriorated, and I've started crying more regularly than a healthy person should. So I'm going to need a full month to heal from that.
After that month, I will get another job. But I will take Linsay's advice this time. "If you're scared of the person who's interviewing you, don't take the job." Lesson learned. The hard way.
After that month, I will be looking for a nice and easy reception job. Basically, a job where I can write all day. Because, at the age of 33, I finally know what I want to do when I grow up. I don't want to work in the communications department of an international organization or non-profit. I don't want to be the administrative assistant to the head of a video production company. I don't even want to be a radio DJ (that was so "Leila 2003"). I want to write stories. And then I want to perform stories. And then I want to work with my friends to turn those stories into movies and TV shows. That's what I want to do. I don't want to work on the set of other people's stories. I want to write my stories. That's it. That's the dream job. I want to write books and go on book tours. I want to write musicals. I want to write a sit-com. And I want to be in all of those productions as well.
Anyway, I want to keep talking about this beautiful month that I plan to buy myself (the greatest gift I could possibly give myself), but it's my bed time now. And I didn't get much sleep last night. And it was "spring forward" day light saving this past weekend, so I was basically a wreck at work today. So I need to go to bed (or "Bedfordshire", as I like to say) now.
But I will leave you with some "Sherman House Webisodes" to keep you company (just click here: www.shwebisodes.com).
Night-night,
Leila
P.S. Because every blog post needs a photo of the author. Here's me in 2012, feeling completely peaceful and serene in the heavenly town of Oxford, England. So peaceful :-)
Sorry I haven't written in the past week. But let me assure you, a LOT has happened. Most importantly, I have decided to quite my job. Hallelu-yer!
Yes! I have finally seen the light. It turns out that I'm not meant to be in that miserable office for the rest of my life. Or even another year. Uh-uh. I am on my way out. I am no martyr. Life is too short.
I've decided that I'm going to save up and buy one whole month of my life. I'm going to quit, either in April, May, or June (whenever I can muster the courage), and I am going to spend a whole month living my dream life. And with that month, I'm going to feel what it feels like to be a full-time writer. I am going to wake up (and not at the ungodly hour of 5:00 AM any more) and maybe make a healthy breakfast for Eric and myself. Then my boy will go to work, and I'll do my morning meditation, followed by a shower. I will get dressed, then take my laptop to a coffee shop. Or perhaps, find an inspiring nook to write in at home. I will write for a few hours. Then I will go to yoga, or go on a peaceful walk. I will get exercise. I will have an afternoon meditation. Then write some more. Then I will prepare a healthy and satisfying evening meal for myself and Eric. Then my boy will get home, we will eat dinner, we will watch a story in bed, and we will fall asleep at a reasonable hour.
That is the month I am buying myself. I am buying myself a month at a quiet and meditative retreat. I will eat healthfully again. I will move my body again. I will remove all stressors from my body, mind, and soul. And I will bring back the old Leila from the dead. Because this past year, in this macabre office, I have died a thousand deaths. My health has deteriorated, and I've started crying more regularly than a healthy person should. So I'm going to need a full month to heal from that.
After that month, I will get another job. But I will take Linsay's advice this time. "If you're scared of the person who's interviewing you, don't take the job." Lesson learned. The hard way.
After that month, I will be looking for a nice and easy reception job. Basically, a job where I can write all day. Because, at the age of 33, I finally know what I want to do when I grow up. I don't want to work in the communications department of an international organization or non-profit. I don't want to be the administrative assistant to the head of a video production company. I don't even want to be a radio DJ (that was so "Leila 2003"). I want to write stories. And then I want to perform stories. And then I want to work with my friends to turn those stories into movies and TV shows. That's what I want to do. I don't want to work on the set of other people's stories. I want to write my stories. That's it. That's the dream job. I want to write books and go on book tours. I want to write musicals. I want to write a sit-com. And I want to be in all of those productions as well.
Anyway, I want to keep talking about this beautiful month that I plan to buy myself (the greatest gift I could possibly give myself), but it's my bed time now. And I didn't get much sleep last night. And it was "spring forward" day light saving this past weekend, so I was basically a wreck at work today. So I need to go to bed (or "Bedfordshire", as I like to say) now.
But I will leave you with some "Sherman House Webisodes" to keep you company (just click here: www.shwebisodes.com).
Night-night,
Leila
P.S. Because every blog post needs a photo of the author. Here's me in 2012, feeling completely peaceful and serene in the heavenly town of Oxford, England. So peaceful :-)
Monday, March 3, 2014
A Better Title
Thank you, friends, for taking the leap with me from "Leilerz in ColHi" (www.leilerzincolhi.blogspot.com) to my new home, "Nominal Expectations."
The night of my 33rd birthday, I was having margaritas with my boyfriend (Eric), plus my three former housemates from Sherman House (please watch all 10 episodes of "The Sherman House Webisodes" for free at www.shwebisodes.com).
I told Linsay, Ted, and Adam about my new experiment with blogging. They were all hugely excited for me and supportive of this new endeavor. But the name, they did not like the name. Heck, I did not like the name. "Leilerz in ColHi"?!?! Ugh. Lame. And what does it even mean? (Nothing) Oh, and I even got the nickname of my beloved neighborhood wrong. It's not "Col-Hi", it's "Co-Hi". Like Soho, but CoHi. No "L"! Ugh, I couldn't even name my blog right.
But it's true. I can't. I suck at coming up with names and titles. I've never been able to give a title to an article, a story, or any work of art. I suck at naming. If I ever get knocked-up, I will probably do a Gwyneth Paltrow and name my kid "Apple". Thank goodness my parents are better at coming up with names than I am.
Anyway, my former housesmates helped me come up with far superior titles. And this is how "Nominal Expectations" came into existence. This will be my new home for all my joys, my miseries, but mostly, my bitter loss of faith. Not religious faith. I'm taking about the loss of genuine optimism. I used to have it - genuine optimism. I used to think that the world was my oyster and that the law of attraction would bring great success and abundant adventures into my life. I used to believe that, for a long time.
And for a long time, the universe did manifest my hopes and dreams into reality. But then I burned out. All those great adventures and dream jobs were fun, but none of them paid the bills. And now, I have a job that pays the bills. And I dread going to it every day. And that's life. Work sucks. That's why it's called work, right? Cry, and get over it. Think of delicious food to binge on, because at the least the food provides momentary happiness. Unlike the job. Right?
Nominal expectations. This is me giving up. I am an administrative assistant in a property management company. But hey, at least I don't cry every day. And this is as good as it gets.
Nominal expectations. This poem is by William Martin.
Night-night,
Leila
The night of my 33rd birthday, I was having margaritas with my boyfriend (Eric), plus my three former housemates from Sherman House (please watch all 10 episodes of "The Sherman House Webisodes" for free at www.shwebisodes.com).
I told Linsay, Ted, and Adam about my new experiment with blogging. They were all hugely excited for me and supportive of this new endeavor. But the name, they did not like the name. Heck, I did not like the name. "Leilerz in ColHi"?!?! Ugh. Lame. And what does it even mean? (Nothing) Oh, and I even got the nickname of my beloved neighborhood wrong. It's not "Col-Hi", it's "Co-Hi". Like Soho, but CoHi. No "L"! Ugh, I couldn't even name my blog right.
But it's true. I can't. I suck at coming up with names and titles. I've never been able to give a title to an article, a story, or any work of art. I suck at naming. If I ever get knocked-up, I will probably do a Gwyneth Paltrow and name my kid "Apple". Thank goodness my parents are better at coming up with names than I am.
Anyway, my former housesmates helped me come up with far superior titles. And this is how "Nominal Expectations" came into existence. This will be my new home for all my joys, my miseries, but mostly, my bitter loss of faith. Not religious faith. I'm taking about the loss of genuine optimism. I used to have it - genuine optimism. I used to think that the world was my oyster and that the law of attraction would bring great success and abundant adventures into my life. I used to believe that, for a long time.
And for a long time, the universe did manifest my hopes and dreams into reality. But then I burned out. All those great adventures and dream jobs were fun, but none of them paid the bills. And now, I have a job that pays the bills. And I dread going to it every day. And that's life. Work sucks. That's why it's called work, right? Cry, and get over it. Think of delicious food to binge on, because at the least the food provides momentary happiness. Unlike the job. Right?
Nominal expectations. This is me giving up. I am an administrative assistant in a property management company. But hey, at least I don't cry every day. And this is as good as it gets.
Nominal expectations. This poem is by William Martin.
Night-night,
Leila
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